


The Good and the Bad

by aarghyareddie



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Angst, Cute Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-20
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2019-03-07 03:20:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13425669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aarghyareddie/pseuds/aarghyareddie
Summary: It has been ten years since Georgie Denbrough has died, and Bill is just trying to make it through the day.





	The Good and the Bad

**Author's Note:**

> first stenbrough fic! 
> 
> tumblr: areyareddie

Bill wasn’t sure how it had been exactly ten years since his little brother had been found dead. While he didn’t remember all of the gruesome details of that day, there was no way he could forget all entirely. There were still nights where he would venture back in his dreams and wake up drenched in sweat and screaming. Those were the bad days. 

 

He had good days too. The relationship he had grown with Stan was more than he could’ve hoped for. Once they had went off to college it finally felt right to test the waters, and soon found themselves in love. By junior year the couple had found a small apartment to move into. It wasn’t the nicest in the beginning, but with Stan’s expertise and Bill’s handy work, they made it their own. Those were the good days; the ones spent with his sunshine.

 

Although, Stan wasn’t a stranger to Bill’s bad days. While he wasn’t the deepest sleeper, his cries were loud enough to cause a stir. Once he would realize what was happening his arms would be wrapped around Bill in an instance. Any care of how disgusting the exchange of sweaty skin was out of the window. 

 

_ “I-I saw him. He’s still-still there!” Bill practically cried out, tilting his head at Stan searching for reassurance that he wasn’t crazy.  _

 

_ Stan pulled Bill into his chest, letting him be as loud as he needed to be until the storm passed. “I know baby, I know.” _

 

Nights like these occurred more often when summer would come to an end. Stan never really mentioned it unless Bill would bring it up. If they were having a good day, there was no way he would jeopardize that by bringing it up. His boy’s happiness was his number one in his list of priorities. There was nothing else that could make his heart soar like Bills smile could. Which he tried to make happen at least once on those days.

 

Which today was indeed a bad day.

 

-

 

Stan had sounded like a broken record the previous night. One of his coworkers had came down with the flu and needed him to cover an extra shift, meaning he would be gone from 7 a.m to 9 p.m. He knew Bill was scheduled at 11 for work, so he hoped the few hours before and after Stan would get home would go smoothly. 

 

_ “If you need anything, text. If it’s an emergency, call, hangup, call right back, and then hang up again. I’ll know and call you right back. Okay?” Stan repeated for the fifth time before leaning down and pressing a kiss to his sleepy boyfriends forehead. Staying in bed for a couple more hours sounded heavenly.  _

 

_ “Okay.” _

 

_ “Promise?” _

 

_ “Promise.” _

 

It went unsaid of the importance of today. Bill figured that was what was causing Stan’s protectiveness into overdrive, but he didn’t say anything. He knew he was old enough to handle it. Hell, his parents were the masters of handling it. They hadn’t spoken a word to him since he left for college.

The amount of times he had tried to make his parents proud of him, or simply just notice him, were endless throughout high school. No matter the amount of A’s he brought home, he couldn’t bring Georgie back, and that is all his parents really wanted. Bill could never forget the night he had told them that it should’ve been him who was killed instead, and not one word of disagreeance was spoken.

 

-

 

By 10:00 a.m, his alarm was going off.

 

By 10:15 a.m, he had pressed snooze three times, and eventually shut it off completely.

 

He figured by 10:45 he should at least have the decency to call his manager and call off. Getting fired wasn’t something he was trying to accomplish. He had managed to snag a job at the local bookstore a few months back and enjoyed the whole atmosphere much more than his previous job as a waiter.

 

Just rolling over to grab his phone felt like too much work. Bill hated this all too familiar feeling, if that’s even what you could call it. It wasn’t anger, resentfulness, or even sadness. It just felt all too numb if he was asked to describe it. 

 

Once his phone had reached his hand there were already tons of notifications. Every single loser had managed to text him this morning trying to have a casual conversation, as if they didn’t know what today was and that wasn’t why they were texting. 

 

_ From Trashmouth Tozier: hey billiam, what’s a crackalackin’? _

 

_ From Bitchin’ Bev: good morning! Your opinion is needed, should I start watching Gilmore Girls or Gossip Girls? SOS!!  _

 

_ From Ben Handsome: hey man we should do dinner soon! I’ll let you pick if it should be a double date or not :) _

 

_ From Tight Mike: bill, i just finished a clockwork orange in our library and you have got to see if that bookstore you work at has it! If not i’ll lend this out to you, it’s such a great book. _

 

_ From Eddie Steady: hi bill, i think i might hurt richie if he leaves the cereal out one more time. How did you get so lucky finding a tidy boyfriend?  _

 

Even in this state of mind, Bill knew it was just their way of showing that they care, but it was beginning to feel like he was being treated like a child. Even by his own boyfriend. Yes it was a hard subject, but sometimes he needed to just talk about it other than only after one of his nightmares would occur.

 

Oh yeah, his boyfriend. 

 

_ From Boyfriend <3; Good morning, baby.  _

 

_ From Boyfriend <3: Are you up yet? Can’t be late for work :) _

 

_ Two Missed Calls: Boyfriend <3 _

 

Bill figured he wouldn’t be too happy if he knew he called off today, so he decided replying wasn’t the best option. Bill knew Stan wasn’t allowed to be on his phone much at work unless he was on break, and he wasn’t one for breaking the rules, so this made Bill feel bad that he was just for him.

 

_ To Boyfriend: Sorry love you. _

 

Bill quickly turned his phone off after the message sent to avoid anymore check-up texts and laid back down against his pillows. It wasn’t long before he fell back asleep.

 

-

 

When Bill woke up the bedroom was dark but the clock on his nightstand read 2:30, which confused him until he heard a loud bang.  _ Oh. It was storming.  _ His automatic response was to reach over for Stan, but realization hit once he felt that it was empty. He was at work.  _ Fuck.  _

 

As he reached over to flip the lamp switch on, Bill’s mind wandered to what his parents were doing today. He was curious if they even thought about him today, or were too busy “grieving” over their favorite son. Back when he was still in high school, he had tried to get them all visit his grave that was on the other end of town but of course he was shut down. He had gone alone each year until he left for college.

 

Derry was only a couple hours away, but he managed to get through this day the past couple years without taking a trip up there. Of course he had Stan by his side both of those days and today, he didn’t. 

 

Bill walked over to the window and drew the curtain back to see how hard the rain was coming down on their roof. It was definitely gloomy out, but he figured it was bearable if he took the Jeep. Besides, Stan wouldn’t get home till around 10 and he believed he could be back by then if he left now. 

 

-

 

Halfway into the road trip Bill decided he was going to stop at his parents house, even if it wasn’t the best idea. He knew if Stan were with him he would have already talked some sense into the boy and convinced him against going there, but he wasn’t. And truthfully, he needed to know if they cared one bit about him anymore.

 

That thought alone made him chuckle to himself because who was he kidding? He knew they hadn’t changed. Bill took the palm of his hand to rub the couple tears that had slipped past him without realizing they had fallen. He soon had to turn the windshield wipers up to the fastest speed just to see 5 feet ahead of him. 

 

-

 

Once Bill had reached Derry it was 4:30 and he figured he had a good 45 minutes before he needed to be back on the road. Once he pulled into his old driveway he took note of the two cars parked in front of him. He shouldn’t have been surprised that no one had went to work today but he still was. Everything still looked the same. The house, the yard, and hell even the whole block of houses still looked the fucking same. 

 

He had to take a few deep breaths before knocking on the door. He thought about just walking in at first, but decided he would rather not run the risk of being treated like a burglar. 

 

“We aren’t interested in buying anything so just go- Bill?” His father's voice travelled before opening the door completely, until there was nothing separating him and his son.

 

“I’m gonna assume you know what today is, and of course didn’t care to call your son who is, by the way, very much alive to see how he was holding up. Except, why would you? You’ve haven’t cared about me since t-ten years ago.”

 

Bill hadn’t stuttered since the beginning of senior year, yet he swore he just heard himself trip over his words there.

 

“Get in here if you’re going to just yell at me, Bill. We have neighbors you know.”

 

That was what he was worried about? He hadn’t seen his son since he went off to college, and THAT was what he was worried about? Not how he was doing, how his classes were going, or fuck, maybe something about his relationship with Stan? Bill suddenly felt his heart drop, and anger build in the pit of his stomach because how fucking dare he? 

 

“You know what? No. Maybe they s-should know how you and mom decided to ignore me and make me feel unwanted since that day. Or maybe how you haven’t once made me feel like I sh-sh-SHOULD have been the one that died. Most days I can live with the choices you two made, but I can’t hold my f-fucking tongue anymore. You lost a son, but you still had another, even if I wasn’t the son you wanted, I was still here. Except not only did I lose a brother on this day, I lost both of my parents too.”

 

Bill waited for him to say something, anything really. He wasn’t sure if he was looking for an apology, more than he just was looking to pick a fight. The sound of the rain hitting the gutters was all that passed through his ears for a few minutes. He managed to look up at his dad to notice the obvious pain on his face. The aging wasn’t doing him well, but he couldn’t ignore the bloodshot eyes he was wearing. Funny he sure wasn’t crying now.

 

“Bill, I-I’m so-” The apology was cut short before even leaving his mouth, since his son had swung his fist and managed to punch him straight in the mouth.  _ Oops.  _

 

"Alright enough, come on Bill." _Mike?_   _When did he even get here?_   In under a second, Mike had appeared behind Bill and was pulling on his arm urging him to leave with him. Of course he couldn’t leave without taking a second look at his father who was holding his hand up to his bleeding mouth. Bill swore a feeling of pride washed over him at that moment in time.

 

That feeling soon fled after he crawled up into his jeep, making sure not to injure his hand anymore than it already stung. He was positive that driving home wasn’t going to be a piece of cake. He didn't notice that Mike had gotten in the passenger side until he was reaching for his hand to examine the damage that had been done. 

 

“How much of that did you see?”

 

“Most of it. I got here a few minutes after you, speaking of which, what the hell are you doing here? To do that?”

 

“B-basically.” Bill lied, flashing a smile at Mike and withdrawing his hand back to him. He noticed the bruises that were already forming on his knuckles from coming in contact with his father’s jaw. 

 

“Where’s your phone? You couldn’t have called your boyfriend to let him know so he wouldn’t have had to call all of us, sending him into a panic wondering where you were and if you were alright? He would’ve understood Bill. He loves you, you know he does.”

 

Bill suddenly felt bad for sending Stan on a wild goose chase for him. He really just needed some time to do this. 

 

“I know I know and it’s been off all day. I just, I wanted to talk to someone that wasn’t going to pretend like they didn’t know what today was. The check up texts were beginning to bug me.”

 

Mike nodded trying to understand his point of view. It couldn’t be easy to have everyone treat you like a child about a something. Bill wasn’t delicate, and he didn’t realize avoiding the subject was just hurting him even more. He was just taking the advice that Stan had given them to not really mention it to him.

 

The rain hitting the dash was getting harder as they sat there in silence. He knew he should probably be heading home soon, but Mike was still silently sitting in his car. 

 

“I should probably get going.” Bill spoke, barely above a whisper.

 

“Stan’s on his way here Bill, you can’t leave. Just follow me back to my place, you guys can stay with me tonight because you sure as hell don’t want to stay here.”

 

Bill just nodded at this in defeat and sighed. He knew there was no point in fighting with Mike, besides he had no energy left to do so anyway. 

 

“It’ll be okay, I promise.”

 

-

 

It wasn’t another hour and a half until Stan got to Mike’s farm. The rain had calmed down a bit and Bill had ventured to the loft in the barn. It wasn’t too warm in there, but he figured this was going to be just about his only alone time for the next 24 hours.

 

It didn’t take but a few minutes of being alone before Bill had bent over and just let himself cry. There wasn’t anything he wasn’t upset about at this point. His brother, his parents, the relationship that was probably about to end because of him, and all the friends that he had most likely worried sick today. He couldn’t help but think that all of those issues had one common denominator, and that was that he was the cause of all of it.

 

-

 

Mike had greeted Stan as he got out of his car and lead him towards the house and out of the rain. He looked like a worried mess, and that was probably because he was. Mike quickly pulled the boy into his arms, trying to provide any sort of solace to him. It took a second but Stan eventually hugged back, sighing ever so slightly.

 

“Hey Mikey, where’s Bill at?”

 

“He headed out to the loft about half an hour ago. I think he just wanted to be alone for a bit, even though he has been alone most of the day. I didn’t bother fighting him on it, you know how stubborn that boy can be.” 

 

Stan offered a slight smile and mouthed thank you before heading into the rain and towards the barn. 

 

-

 

Once Stan had climbed up to the loft he found his boyfriend sitting on some hay, noticing that his head was shoved between his legs and chest was heaving up and down. It broke his heart, to put it simply. A few seconds later Stan had dropped down onto his knees, becoming head level with his boyfriend. Stan’s hands found their way into Bill’s hair rubbing little circles into his scalp.

 

The sudden touch didn’t change a thing in Bill’s posture. He didn’t want to face his boyfriend, he just didn’t have the heart to. He knew he was disappointed in him. This just made his sobs louder at this point.

 

“Baby, c’mere.” 

 

Stan wrapped his arms around his shaking boyfriend and placed light kisses on his shoulder and head, trying to provide any sort of comfort he had to offer. Bill suddenly shook his head back and forth and lifted his head, using his hands to push on Stan’s chest.

 

“J-just go o-okay? I’m too broken and I break everything I t-t-touch.” Bill cried out holding his hands in defeat in front of him. 

 

Stan felt tears leaking from his eyes seeing his boyfriend like this. He hadn’t stuttered since fuck, he couldn’t even remember. It was like being back in Derry was bringing everything back. He noticed his bruised hand and reached out to examine it. He figured he must’ve hit the wall or something similar and pressed a kiss to his knuckles. 

 

“He deserved i-it.”

 

Wait.  _ He? _

 

“Who?”

 

“My dad.”

 

Oh. Oh man, that was why he came here. Stan had figured it was to visit Georgie’s grave, but maybe it was just to give his parent’s a piece of his mind. 

 

“You aren’t too broken for anyone Bill, especially me. You know how many times you have touched me and I’m still here, aren’t I?”

 

Bill just nodded in response and leaned his head on Stan’s shoulder. He noticed how his shirt smelled like strawberries, even after being heavily rained on. Bill loved that about him. He always smelled so inviting and warm. Like, home. 

 

After a few minutes of being in each other’s embraces, Bill finally spoke up.

 

“I didn’t come here just to hit my dad. I wanted to see Georgie, but then on my way here I thought well I should just see how the people that basically gave up on me was doing today, y-know? Then he cared more about if anyone heard me, so I just hit him and then Mike found me.”

 

“Baby you know, I want you to feel like you can tell me how you’re feeling. If you told me you wanted to visit, I would’ve dropped anything to go with you.” 

 

Bill simply nodded to his words but then leaned back from his boyfriends shoulder. He took a few steady breaths before Stan took his hands into his own, which helped calm him tremendously.

 

“I don’t want you to purposely avoid the topic anymore. You or any of the other losers. I know you all have good intentions but it makes me feel like a burden when I need to talk about it, or like a little kid when it's obviously being avoided.”

 

Stan was taken back by Bill’s comment because he really did believe it was for the best. He wouldn’t have worked so hard on avoiding it if he knew how it hurt him. He just wanted his boyfriend to be happy at all times.

 

“I promise I wouldn’t have if I would’ve known it was hurting you, I promise.” Stan choked on his promise, feeling a sob rising in his throat. “I just always wanted you to be happy and I knew that talking about Georgie would upset you.”

 

Bill suddenly leaned in and pressed his lips on Stan’s, cupping his face with his hands. It wasn’t too rough or too soft, it just felt right. Like coming back home after a long trip, or even after a few hours. He nodded, connecting their foreheads. “I know, I do. I love you so much. You only did it to protect me, I know.”

 

“I love you too. I’m sorry the talk with your family didn’t go as hoped.” Bill shook his head, he didn’t care about that anymore. It wasn’t his place to be upset over it anymore. He had someone who loved him right in front of him, and that was his family.

 

“Do you think you could go with me to visit Georgie’s grave? He should meet his future brother in law.” Bill asked, a smile forming across his face.

 

This question alone made Stan start crying then and there, but this time, they were happy tears. He never thought he would be asked to share something so personal with the guy he loved, let alone hearing a hint towards marriage and a life with Bill Denbrough. His Bill Denbrough. The kid who had shared his crayons the first day of kindergarten just because some kids were picking on him. He simply nodded until Bill placed another kiss to Stan’s lips, bringing both of the boys home.


End file.
